Step Up 3D

By matt Friday August 6, 2010

Now, I’m aware that I might be going out on a limb here, and this will probably do irrevocable damage to my credibility as a respected cinematic authority… however

FUCKING

LOVED THIS!!!

Although that could well have had a lot to do with all the free beer and Pizza Express pizzas they gave out before the screening. I’m quite fickle like that – load me up with enough free food and booze and I’d happily sit through an autopsy..

I can’t believe I’ve been wasting my time all these years watching films that concern themselves with plot, character and realistic dialogue. Step Up 3D effectively cuts out all that boring old shit and goes straight to the good stuff – the only thing people really want to see in a movie anyway – 3D breakdancing!

And, fuck me, are they’re good at it. I’ve never really taken much of an interest in dance before. Mainly because, like most things I’m not very good at, I regard it as pointless and stupid. (You can also add fashion, drawing, sport, talking to girls and playing the piano to that list..) However, some of the moves they pull in this film – fusing Hip Hop with Capoeira, Parkour and even Lindy Hop – are among the most visually astonishing things I’ve ever seen in a cinema. The final dance-off in particular, where the dancers strap neon lights and laser beams to themselves, had me whooping and applauding like a delighted toddler.

The music is similarly awesome (depending on how ’1xtra’ your tastes are..) Although the Urban Popular soundtrack causes a bit of a problem for the filmakers as most of the songs contain language that isn’t exactly ideal for their target audience of impressionable tweens. Tear Da Roof Off by Busta Rhymes, for example, features the lyric “Bounce n*gga, bounce bounce bounce, n*gga bounce bounce!” Weirdly, these expletives aren’t fully bleeped out but are just vaguely muffled so you can still hear them if you listen carefully enough. So, in stanza three, when Busta promises that “All y’all weak-ass n*ggas, I’m'a rub y’all n*ggas OUT!” The offending words come out as a sort-of nervous sounding mumble: “All y’all weak-ass mmnnugmers..” I use a similar technique when I can’t remember someone’s name.

And now, ladies and gentlemen… let’s dance..