Out this weekend is Down Terrace, a sad, sinister and darkly hilarious British gangster flick shot in just nine days on a tiny budget (i.e. the type of film that isn’t going to exist anymore now the UK Film Council is being abolished. It’s interesting isn’t it that Cameron and Clegg, who so closely resemble stock characters in a Richard Curtis movie, have acted decisively to ensure that no other type of film will ever get made. Conspiracy?)
Down Terrace is a bizarre collision of gritty kitchen sink drama and Sopranos-esque crime thriller – with the dialogue from Peep Show and the body count of Reservoir Dogs thrown in for good measure.
Bill and Karl are father and son small-time gangsters who have recently been released from prison. They’re supposed to be trying to uncover the identity of the person who grassed them up to the rozzers, but mostly they spend their time sitting around drinking tea, taking drugs and bickering.
My favourite character is Maggie, the family matriarch and Bill’s chief advisor and enforcer. I spent about an hour trying to figure out where I recognised her from until finally it twigged – she was Alan Partridge’s love interest in the episode where he goes to the Owl Sanctuary – she’s the one who smears chocolate mousse on him while they’re having sex.
The actress’s name is Julia Deakin and she’s really fantastic in this film. There’s an incredible bit where she’s comforting her heartbroken son by gently singing him a lullaby, all the while you can see in her eyes that she’s secretly plotting to kill him. It’s incredibly well done, reminiscent of the scene in Godfather Part II where Michael orders the death of his brother. That said, I did spend most of film desperately wanting to shout out, “Jill, what do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich City Centre?”
In fact, fuck it, it’s Friday afternoon. Let’s just sack this off and watch Alan Partridge clips shall we? I’ll see you next week..
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“Mind you I can’t talk, I’ve got a fat back”
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“I suppose, if you were going to execute a bird of prey, the most humane way would be death by firing squad.”
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“Mousse from a bowl is very nice but to put it on a person is demented!”
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